Our “rape culture” and how to change it.


This needs to stopNo, there is nothing magical or beautiful about that title. And the magic will only come with the change. I have posted many things about this topic, reposted many pictures and voiced my outrage many times.

This is a personal subject to me, as I know it is to millions. If you haven’t been affected by rape at some point in your life, you love someone who has, I guarantee it. But we keep teaching the wrong thing to the wrong set of people. Teaching our girls they have to live in fear, they have to be sure they don’t dress a certain way or speak a certain way or drink at a party… this does nothing if we don’t teach our boys. And “no means no” is NOT good enough. Just ask her:

Innocent victims

The message needs to be “Only YES means YES” and it needs to be taught to our boys and girls alike.

I found this post today, written by Rebecca Yarros – a superhero –  and it had me reduced to tears in minutes. Oh, if only all the moms in all the world would write this letter to their children.

Please read this post, and please share it. This is important. This is important right now.

Rebbeca’s post: “Dear boys, we protect those who are smaller.”

I would love to hear your thoughts on this, I would love it even more if you shared Rebecca’s post with the world.

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6 comments on “Our “rape culture” and how to change it.

  1. Rape is NEVER acceptable under any circumstances period. It’s abuse and a violation, pure plain and simple. I interned at a center for women escaping domestic violence so I know what I’m talking about. I saw the damage, the grieving, and thank God the healing. But the bottom line for me will always be, it never should happen in the first place…EVER!

  2. I’m the mother of a son, and I totally agree. Respect is something that starts at home, and having honest, open conversations with your son is a good way to start. I embarrass the heck out of mine sometimes talking about very specific and realistic issues, including sex, but it’s the only way to be sure he understands. Dancing around the issue leads to confusion and lack of firm boundaries. Forcing oneself on another person is always wrong. Period. I’d rather he learned from his father and me than try to figure it out on his own!

  3. jmbray says:

    Thank you for the blog and the link to Rebbeca’s post. My daughters have made it to adulthood and marriage thus far unscathed by this horror. Thank God.

    In my profession, I work directly with teens and their families. Helping one through a post-rape situation is like trying to cross a minefield…blindfolded, but it can be done. As you and Rebbeca point out, prevention is the only real solution. Fortunately I also have the honor of helping young men (and women) make right decisions, and hope I’ve made a difference.

    I’ve place Rebbeca’s letter in my toolbox and plan on using it regularly.

    Again, thank you for providing it.

  4. Rebecca says:

    Michelle, I heart you! Thank you so much for sharing my little blog. =) And thank you to everyone else who is sharing it. Hopefully by raising my boys better, when I have a daughter, she’ll be safer. Thank you!

  5. You are so right, and thank you for sharing Rebecca’s letter, which I’m sharing all over the place, too! I also wrote on my blog about this topic when I’d finally reached my threshold of tolerance after the Steubenville trial and the resulting media debacle.

    UGH.

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